


Totally Quality

by OreoPlijetski



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 15:07:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17551973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OreoPlijetski/pseuds/OreoPlijetski
Summary: Hello friends I am transcribing a verbally told tale from lunch, orated by my friend, like...yesterday.It's an Ereri and Jearmin fic that's totally qualityBefore you run away I would like to say that this is a joke fic





	Totally Quality

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of these characters, all stuff is owned by the creators, etc etc, all that good stuff

Eren Jaeger was a lonely dude on a farm with a donkey, Jean, named after his crush Jean, who left him. He went to the strip club, where he saw Armin and Jean making it rain on a pole dancer stripper. Eren was like "Hey guys!" But Armin and Jean were not actually there, but were just imagined there because Eren didn't actually have friends. The stripper, Levi, was like "Dude there's no one there, who the fuck are you talking to," judgementally, and Eren thought 'Wow he's hot, but mean, so I don't know how to feel about him.' Eren went to school the next day and got to class. The teacher said "Hello class, my name is Mr. Ackerman," and Eren realized, 'Holy crap, it's the pole dancer! He's my teacher and he's mean but he's sexy so I don't know how to feel about him,' (at this point Levi is internally screaming because he didn't know Eren was underage when he saw him at the club). After class ended, the teacher called, "Jaeger, come back here, there's something I need to discuss with you." Eren walked back, sweating internally, and was like "Yeah okay," and Levi was like "Okay so I can't have you tell anyone about my other job, so don't tell anyone okay?" And Eren is like "Uhh I won't tell anyone if you do the horizontal watoosie with me," and Levi was like "Ew no," but Eren was like "Okay, then I'll tell," and Levi went "Okay, suck my dick." Then they did the horizontal watoosie.

It was the first day of school, and Armin was walking around, minding his own business, when Jean the bully came up to him and shoved him to the ground, and started stomping on Armin and calling him a bug. Jean skidaddled out of there, and Armin went to the principal''s office to say that Jean had bullied him. The principal was like "YOU HAVE NO PROOF, GET TO CLASS!" Armin gets to class late, and, as it turns out, his seat is _right next to Jean_. Armin and Jean do nothing in class but stare at each other. Jean had actually felt bad about stepping on Armin after he did it, because he's actually was just trying to seem like a bad boy, so he went "I'm sorry about what I did before, Blondie." Armin didn't really like being called "Blondie," so he went and called Jean "Bully." The bell signalling the end of class sounded, and Armin got up. "I need to go study." He went to leave, but Jean wasn't having any of that, so he pulled Armin back by his shirt and kissed him. He said, "I hate you, but you're the love of my life, but I hate you, but I really love you." Then they went back home and frickle frackled all day, then Eren and Levi came over and they had a foursome. Levi was later arrested.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry  
> Me and my friend were discussing tropes in fanfictions where Eren is always a prostitute and Jean is made out to be the bully, so yeah...this is what happened because I asked my friend to make a fanfiction and she just started making it on the spot out loud.  
> I'm actually a hardcore Jearmin shipper, so the part where Jean stomps on Armin hurt my soul a lot, but this is a joke and I hope it didn't hurt you fellow Jearminists too bad


End file.
